Self-Assessment

Living on the Black Scholars floor my freshman year, I met a lot of Black Studies majors.  I was an Art History major with no intention of taking any Art History classes at the time, planning to eventually switch to a science.  The students that I knew in Black Studies classes talked about them as if they were actually entertaining and meaningful education, which I did not doubt; however, I constantly heckled them for choosing such a subject as a major by telling them how worthless it was, by voicing my hatred for the subject at Black student organization meetings, and by boasting about my financially stable future in the sciences.  Winter quarter of freshman year, I took Black Studies 50 with Professor Otis Madison.  It was the meaningful and entertaining education that my colleagues had been speaking of, and I enjoyed myself immensely.  But being a man who must keep up appearances, I still would not allow anyone to see that I enjoyed a subject that I assumed to be substandard, hiding my enjoyment as I took four more Black Studies courses over the next year.  I kept taking my science classes, settling into Financial Mathematics by my third year.  Taking these economics classes alongside Black Studies classes created an inner dialogue because the Black Studies courses I was in, Robinson's 162, Madison's 102, and Akudinobi's 172, laid out how the economy was used exploit people of color for the last 200 years and the econ classes were the economy that was exploiting people of color for 200 years.  I concluded that economics, accounting, business, etc. were evil and switched to a pure math major.  When looking at what classes to take entering my final year, I noticed that I had quite a collection of Black Studies major requirements completed and fought with myself until I was able to accept having Black Studies on a diploma.  I then applied for a double major in Mathematics and Black Studies fall quarter of my senior year, taking 1 and 133 with professor Banks and 4 with professor Gaye Johnson.  After the base classes, I was sure that this was an acceptable major to pursue and was almost ashamed that my arrogant self had fallen for the tricks of the haters that said Black Studies was inferior. I look forward to this seminar as the final task to better understand how the country I have to claim as home operates.

Jordan Mahoney